Celebrating independence

I never knew how it really felt to be alone.. i mean literally ALONE. I come from a very protective family, where my parents would hardly ever allow us to hang out with our friends at shopping complexes let alone step out of the front gate without informing them first. My actual first step into independence was when i left my family in Mexico to further my studies in Malaysia to become a medical doctor.. it wasn’t too bad at that moment as my 2 eldest bros were there for me to freeload off their food and shelter etc, i was self-confessed leech (we actually stayed in our home so it wasn’t a big deal anyway haha).

Well anyway, from leaving Mexico, to starting matriculation in PJ and then moving on to the medical faculty in Kuantan, i’d consider myself pretty much grown. I’ve matured emotionally, professionally as well as spiritually. I’ve learned to become more understanding and considerate towards other ppl, and i’ve learned how to deal and accept (and tolerate) all different types of personalities (including my own :P). I’ve learned how to pay my own bills, fill in petrol (i even got my driving license while i was studying in Kuantan, haha how lame). I’ve grown as a human being and i felt that i could accomplish all my goals and combat any challenges and obstacles that may cross my path. The world was at my feet. All I needed to do was walk.

I felt that i could do anything since i had already accomplished so much on my own and have managed to bypass obstacles that i even i didn’t know were possible, but I didn’t know any better. Nothing actually compares to the biggest challenge of graduating from medical school and literally being dumped in foreign land with no connections whatsoever. Contrary to my emotions at graduation, the working world was nothing but a platform for depression, misery and sorrow. So much for the optimism.

Finishing medical school is not an ending, it’s the beginning of something completely new and unpredictable. Our lives actually begin HERE. In medical school we were like intelligent (haha mind my use of adjectives) foetuses, only given birth to after graduation.

That’s all in the past. I’m currently a medical doctor working from 8am to 11pm daily (8am till 11pm the next day if i’m oncall) with only 2-4 days off per month. I’ve managed to cope with the working hours and the lack of sleep. And i’m doing this all alone. During rest time, I go to secret recipe alone, sipping on an oreo milkshake while using my laptop. I drive to Malacca to go shopping ALONE or just sit at starbucks or coffeebean and read a magazine or just surf the net.. alone.. (like what i’m doing now haha :P) i was even about to catch a movie alone at the cinemas today, but decided to take a rain check on that since i’m post-futsal and post-call and having slept for less than an hour in nearly 2 days (i’m exhausted down to my feet).

I’ve never felt this LONELY.. but come to think of it, I quite like the feeling. (i don’t know whether to be happy or to feel sorry for myself that i’m so lame for being a loner). Call me weird, but I’ve chosen to feel happy and blessed by God to have been given this experience. I enjoy watching ppl stare at me thinking that I’m a lone-ranger. I’d like to congratulate myself for accomplishing such and would like to celebrate my newly independent life.

So to all those loners or singles out there, embrace ur status and celebrate ur accomplishments in life. Not everyone can do what you do. It’s major. Totally. Celebrate independence. :D