* Painting Sunflowers Pink *

Soo... I’ve reached that point in my life where i have to start planning my days very well. Planning for “that day”. You may choose to replace “that day” with whatever event you wish   :D I’ve been rather busy lately (and yet still have time to blog! Haha it keeps me sane). Oncalls have been getting more frequent and i’ve been putting so many things on hold; too many things which are important, mind you. Procrastination is the unwanted yet inevitable product of busyness. But i can’t completely place the blame on my work. I’ve always been hopeless when it comes to time management.  To overcome my laziness and procrastination during my student days i’d make a list of things to do and then put it into a timetable. I had to cos my life was pretty hectic (as it is for everyone else, i’m sure) having to divide my time between sports, studies, sleep, religion, (shopping!) and etc. Furthermore, i had several study groups going on at the same time i.e one for the professional exam...

I was so tired at the hospital today cos i haven't compensated so many days of sleep. My last oncall was 2 days ago; slept for less than 2 hours for the whole day. Was exhausted while reviewing patients the following day, with eyebags weighing about 1 kg bilaterally. Nodded off several times while writing in their files - while sitting and standing. But after morning rounds i decided to go to Malacca rather than taking my well-deserved sleep. I shopped the whole day and got back at about 11pm cos there was a dumb road block on the highway. Was back to work today at 6:30am, sleepy as usual. After 5pm, i went out for tea, got home at 7pm, took an hour's nap and went for futsal practice. Just got back, and rather than sleeping immediately, i took a nice refreshing shower and am currently blogging the events of the day. A day well-planned (not!). heehee.  I think i've over exerted myself... yet again.. It's a vicious, never-ending cycle.  I still don't know how to ma...

Banana split or creme brulee?  - banana split Chocolate milkshake or cappucino? - milkshake Mac&cheese or lobster? - mac&cheese Pink or maroon? - pink Cakes or brownies? - brownies I have the cravings of a 6 year old. I'm into candy, chocs, jellies and gummies... the jellier the candy, the merrier the taste... The brighter the coloring, the greater the urge.... The more the icing, the higher the temptation! Oh doughnuts! where are u when i need you?? I'm a die-hard fan of junk food. When will my taste buds ever mature to that of an adult? Food aside. I must also admit to having the mentality of a 6 year old. I'm still immature, dependent and irrational when it comes to making decisions. I live for the day and fail to plan for the future. With that confession finally brought out in the open, i can finally feel at peace with myself.. and start planning for my future... .... .... hmmm.... so.. who's up for splurging at the mall this weekend??? :D I shall enter...

i.e. Beautiful period = HOLIDAY Unwanted = end of the HOLIDAY And thus the return of nettlesome rantings from yours truly... I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK! Is it possible that I'll wake up to find that this is only a dream?... . . . . (...and what happened to optimism?) . . . Let the monologues begin....

Is it normal to feel this way? Confused, undecided and in a state of uncertainty The forbidden fruit is always the sweetest. But once you have the chance to actually taste it, u just plainly don’t want to. There’s no longer that thrill u had from chasing after it. I’m starting to have second thoughts. Why is that so? Dear God, Show me the straight path. Show me right from wrong. And whatever decisions I make in the future, may they please be good ones? Ameen.

I never knew how it really felt to be alone.. i mean literally ALONE. I come from a very protective family, where my parents would hardly ever allow us to hang out with our friends at shopping complexes let alone step out of the front gate without informing them first. My actual first step into independence was when i left my family in Mexico to further my studies in Malaysia to become a medical doctor.. it wasn’t too bad at that moment as my 2 eldest bros were there for me to freeload off their food and shelter etc, i was self-confessed leech (we actually stayed in our home so it wasn’t a big deal anyway haha). Well anyway, from leaving Mexico, to starting matriculation in PJ and then moving on to the medical faculty in Kuantan, i’d consider myself pretty much grown. I’ve matured emotionally, professionally as well as spiritually. I’ve learned to become more understanding and considerate towards other ppl, and i’ve learned how to deal and accept (and tolerate) all different types ...